Funny winter "button accordion"

First, "button accordion" is "bayan" (colloquial) in Russian and this word is used when someone is telling one very old (in twitter time it could be an hour old) joke. Also we call it "joke with beard" but bayan is way more modern.

Second, I laughed at this text. Maybe you will, too.

>> +20 C - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).
>> +15 C - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).
>> +10 C - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers . 
>> +5 C - You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don't start.
>> Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows.
>> 0 C - Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens. 
>> -5 C- French cars don't start.
>> -10 C - You're planning a vacation to Australia.
>> -15 C- Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on
>> sweaters.
>> -18 C - New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their 
>> last seasonal picnic.
>> -20 C - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing
>> long-sleeves.
>> -25 C - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
>> -30 C - Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat 
>> prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
>> -35 C - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.
>> -40 C - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't
>> start. 
>> -42 C - Transportation stops in Europe. Russians eat ice cream on the
>> street.
>> -45 C - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something
>> for the homeless.
>> -50 C - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska, people 
>> close the window in the bathroom.
>> -60 C - White bears start moving south.
>> -70 C - Hell froze.
>> -73 C - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland.
>> Russians wear earmuff hats. 
>> -80 C - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
>> -114 C - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
>> -273 C - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
>> -295 C - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the 
>> world champion.